so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
