I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
