you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
