Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
this is an emotional support booty call
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
