i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
