I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
