if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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