I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
