I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She's JV to your varsity
I think my fart just growled at me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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