I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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