Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize