I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
