i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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