i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
