someone owes me an orgasm
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
