Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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