bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
