he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
