I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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