so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
