I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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