i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
