we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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