Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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