Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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