you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
