We're like a lot better than the average bears
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
