it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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