and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
