IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
