ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
