He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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