in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
