yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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