We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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