just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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