did you get engaged???
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
MIDGETS
????
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
