he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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