i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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