Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
