Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
and she was petting her beer can
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
