; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
