the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
