it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
