He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
