What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
