Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize