You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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