When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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