You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
