went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bring me that man meat
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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