my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
