Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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