just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
