Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
