i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
