I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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