Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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