This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
