My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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