In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize