I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
