What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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