kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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