I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
